its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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