Midget sex pt 2 tonight
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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