I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize