She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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