I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize