You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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