you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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