Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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