u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize