Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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