i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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