i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize