You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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