If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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