God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think my moral compass just broke
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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