She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize