I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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