Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.

(515): View more from Iowa

I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.

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(918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama. (515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott. http://tfl.nu/z2im

Replies (121) Good night (1528) Bad night (1281)
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(323): View more from California

Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

(206): View more from Washington

Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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(323): Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people! (206): Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003... http://tfl.nu/95ks

Replies (38) Good night (783) Bad night (2211)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.

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(302): I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long. http://tfl.nu/8u3p

Replies (59) Good night (3277) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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(847): so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all. http://tfl.nu/abug

Replies (15) Good night (1103) Bad night (4127) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

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(920): just left the emergency room. condom extraction. http://tfl.nu/bo1w

Replies (30) Good night (1000) Bad night (10987) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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(613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp

Replies (14) Good night (4813) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.

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(702): I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high. http://tfl.nu/9ove

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(520): View more from Arizona

She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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(520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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(215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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(504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d

Replies (15) Good night (4321) Bad night (737)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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(778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u

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(217): View more from Illinois

Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency

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(217): Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency http://tfl.nu/yuks

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(303): View more from Colorado

exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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(303): exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake". http://tfl.nu/t5lj

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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(651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou

Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h

Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

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