We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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