do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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