the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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