I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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