Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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