So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
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just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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