I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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