its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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