HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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