just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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