I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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