Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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