Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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