then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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