Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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