exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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