fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
no you cant smoke seaweed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize