I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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