I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize