I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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