Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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