Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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