I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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