i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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