i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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