I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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