I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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