No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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