Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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