i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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