woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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