I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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